Maybe, just maybe, its not about being perfect.
Today I awoke a little less broken than the day before. I imagine that all the sleep I've been getting in the week since school ended has helped.
How does one deal with the madness of living in the world? Its a question that I have been recycling lately. Reuse. Re-ask. Rethink. How does one work to keep oneself whole without falling into selfishness? It is a recycled question, continually thrown behind the shoulder of the discouraged thinker only to be caught immediately by the next curious and newly wide-eyed student.
The paradox of college is that if you aren't responsible, you fall by the wayside, letting grades plummet and sanity sink. College is supposed to teach independence, but along with that comes this attitude centered on your own needs and desires. Stepping out of the academic whirlpool each semester, I am struck by my lack of importance; I can be responsible, but I must constantly fight against the urge to consider my own needs as the utmost priority.
Perhaps this is also an effect of adulthood and not merely college. I don't know. The misty whirling and twirling of thought in my head has created too much of a muddle; I can no longer see straight. Or clearly.
Maybe, just maybe, all this post-semester sleep is helping.