on not knowing

“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, “ he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”

(F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby)

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The weekend caused us to reflect on questions that, for quite some time now, have seemed impossible to answer: that is, questions about our future. 

For the longest time we've been talking but not planning. Dreaming but not moving. And, as at every family reunion, after you have caught relatives up on the last five years of your life, you are then expected to portend what the next five years will bring. 

The thing is, for all our talk, we are so very, very deep in the sea of not-knowing. 

And I think that I am slowly becoming okay with that.